Everyone thinks this baby is a girl.
The first thing Sam said to me when we discovered my second pregnancy back in March last year, or when that ended and we discussed trying again (I can’t remember which): “I’m thinking a little girl called [one of our girl’s name choices]”. (He has since refused to speculate, sticking to “Well, it’s one or the other” logic).
Last time, I had stronger feelings that we needed to finalise boys’ names. This time, it’s the girls’ name combinations that we are fine tuning.
Symptom-wise, (aside from the first trimester), this pregnancy has been 100% more chilled than Arlo’s. Minimal heartburn, minimal tiredness. I am not the pent-up ball of anger, panic, and tears, as I was with Arlo.
But I don’t think I’m having a girl. I don’t have any predictions either way.
In hindsight, after experiencing this pregnancy, I think my stress during Arlo’s pregnancy had a massive effect on both symptoms and emotions.
All our focus is on girls’ names because we have our boy name choices 90% sorted.
In early pregnancy, I had strong feelings that Arlo was a girl. So what do I know.
I’ve finally worked out why my focus during this pregnancy has been on girls so far. It’s not because I want a girl more than I want a boy. It’s not because I feel strongly that baby 2 is a girl. It’s because when I imagine a baby boy, I just see Arlo. I can’t see past baby Arlo. A girl would be a different adventure and is therefore easier to imagine.
A baby boy that isn’t Arlo? Now that is something to get my head around. Will he remind me exactly of Arlo or will he be completely different? Will there be some aspects that remind me entirely of Arlo and some aspects that are all-new and all-him?
Honestly, honestly (I know people aren’t easily convinced when someone says they really don’t care either way), I do not have secret hopes for one over the other when it comes to gender.
Sometimes I think a boy would be ideal. There is likely going to be a long age gap between this one and another baby (should we be in the lucky position to find ourselves considering baby 3), due to finances and being unable to move from our 2 bed house in the next few years. A closer age gap between brothers feels like a nice thing to have. And of course I would love to see Sam and myself as parents to a daughter, but I’m really hoping to make baby 3 an actuality at some point in the future, so I’m not in a rush to have ‘one of each’ right now.
We haven’t found out if baby 2 is a boy or a girl, and there is no impatience to know. I think I will only really be ready to know at the point at which I welcome them into the world. And if anyone wants to give me theories about the way I’m ‘carrying’, or assume that we want girl over boy or vice versa, don’t be offended by my laughter.