IMG_3233-copyEveryone thought Arlo was a boy.

Everyone thinks this baby is a girl.

The first thing Sam said to me when we discovered my second pregnancy back in March last year, or when that ended and we discussed trying again (I can’t remember which): “I’m thinking a little girl called [one of our girl’s name choices]”. (He has since refused to speculate, sticking to “Well, it’s one or the other” logic).

Last time, I had stronger feelings that we needed to finalise boys’ names. This time, it’s the girls’ name combinations that we are fine tuning.

Symptom-wise, (aside from the first trimester), this pregnancy has been 100% more chilled than Arlo’s. Minimal heartburn, minimal tiredness. I am not the pent-up ball of anger, panic, and tears, as I was with Arlo.

But I don’t think I’m having a girl. I don’t have any predictions either way.

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In hindsight, after experiencing this pregnancy, I think my stress during Arlo’s pregnancy had a massive effect on both symptoms and emotions.

All our focus is on girls’ names because we have our boy name choices 90% sorted.

In early pregnancy, I had strong feelings that Arlo was a girl. So what do I know.

I’ve finally worked out why my focus during this pregnancy has been on girls so far. It’s not because I want a girl more than I want a boy. It’s not because I feel strongly that baby 2 is a girl. It’s because when I imagine a baby boy, I just see Arlo. I can’t see past baby Arlo. A girl would be a different adventure and is therefore easier to imagine.

A baby boy that isn’t Arlo? Now that is something to get my head around. Will he remind me exactly of Arlo or will he be completely different? Will there be some aspects that remind me entirely of Arlo and some aspects that are all-new and all-him?

Honestly, honestly (I know people aren’t easily convinced when someone says they really don’t care either way), I do not have secret hopes for one over the other when it comes to gender.

Sometimes I think a boy would be ideal. There is likely going to be a long age gap between this one and another baby (should we be in the lucky position to find ourselves considering baby 3), due to finances and being unable to move from our 2 bed house in the next few years. A closer age gap between brothers feels like a nice thing to have. And of course I would love to see Sam and myself as parents to a daughter, but I’m really hoping to make baby 3 an actuality at some point in the future, so I’m not in a rush to have ‘one of each’ right now.

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We haven’t found out if baby 2 is a boy or a girl, and there is no impatience to know. I think I will only really be ready to know at the point at which I welcome them into the world. And if anyone wants to give me theories about the way I’m ‘carrying’, or assume that we want girl over boy or vice versa, don’t be offended by my laughter.

10 comments

  1. Yet again, you could have crawled inside my head from a few months ago. I genuinely had no preferences either way and would get really annoyed at people who told me it would be perfect if I had a girl. Grrrrr! Another little boy would have been just as amazing for the same reasons you said, because two brothers close in age would be lovely, plus I know how to be a boy mama. I’m so happy to get to try my hand at being a girl mama too.
    Wanting three definitely helps matters, I just said that I’d like a girl eventually but wasn’t bothered when. In honesty I love raising boys and would have stopped at 3 boys and given up getting a girl, but 3 girls and I may have pushed for a fourth on the off chance I’d get my boy. Luckily I got my boy straight off the mark so I’d have always been happy with whatever comes along.
    I have to say, with names, that we had a clear boys name first time but went round and round trying to find girls names. But the second time we had a girls name picked practically from the start while we had more trouble settling on a boys name. Read into that what you will!!!
    Either way, I can’t wait to see your little addition when he or she arrives, whatever they my be. X

    1. Believe it or not, no one’s yet made any comments or assumptions about having ‘one of each’ – I was expecting that to be the ‘annoying comments’ theme of this pregnancy!

  2. Loads of people thought I was expecting a girl this time, and I had in some way focused more of having a girl because of that. Obviously she wasn’t a girl at all. It’s nice having two boys close in age, and it’s also much cheaper and saves us having to decorate a unisex room in the next couple of years once they squeeze in together so there’s another positive!

  3. You look fantastic!

    This blog post was so interesting to read, as conversely to this I was desperate for another girl. I think because to me having a boy was so unknown! I was terrified most of all of the penis and its threats to widdle everywhere (really).

    Little boys are so special though and Hux and I have such a brilliant bond, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m sure I wouldn’t have had it any other way if H had been a girl 🙂

    xx

    1. I can understand that mentality – I’ll definitely feel more like I know what I’m doing if this one is a boy, especially when it comes to nappy changes!

  4. Hey I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now and enjoy it. I am a labor delivery nurse and have my own methods of trying to figure out the gender before the baby is born (its a little mental game I play with myself). Sometimes I’m right sometimes not, but I often wonder if when I make the mistake the girl turns out to be a tomboy or the boy a bit more feminine. Ill never know though. I can’t wait to see this little one. My partner and I are discussing babies now, and have pros for both, as well as names picked out. We just have to get around to having the baby lol. Glad things are still going well!

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