I don’t mind a good photo of myself, I just have very high expectations of what a good photo is.
I have counted the photos of Arlo and me. There are 26 photos of us together. This is actually more than I thought there were, but still not a huge amount in 7.5 months since he entered the world.
During the first visits from friends and family after Arlo was born, I refused requests for photos of me and Arlo. I don’t regret this, the few photos I have of myself those first few days are awful. I was pale and putting all my efforts into trying not to pass out at any given moment. Tell tale ‘I’ve been in labour for the last few days’ shadows under my eyes, I could not be bothered/had no time to mess with make up to attempt to mask all of this. (Thinking about it, I still can’t be bothered with make up). Anyone who wanted me to haul my sore arse off the sofa to pose for a photo with Sam and Arlo was sharply told that it was not going to happen.
In the weeks that followed, I remember the cameras always seemed to appear at the same moment that Arlo wanted feeding, and although I have no qualms over breastfeeding in public, I do not fancy the idea of anyone other than me holding pictorial evidence.
This photo pretty much sums up those first weeks:
Sam looking knackered, Arlo grimacing, and me, in between feeding, giving my best glare at the camera.
There are a few photos which I actually quite like/weren’t shot at a god awful angle:
A lot of the 26 photos have been taken by myself on a whim. (Note to self: Need to ask Sam to take more photos):
You get the idea.
Here are some shots that I absolutely detested at the time, but now quite like/don’t mind/have sentimental value:
Mid burping session. One of the only photos of us both in Arlo’s first few days.
First snow.
Sam took this one at some point in the first few weeks.
An hour old. I had just showered, hence the wet hair. I forgot to comb it through, so all photos of the next day are shockers.
And then there’s the family portraits, which are special regardless of what anyone looks like:
Grandma, Great Grandma and Uncle.
I’ve included 16 of the 26 photos in this post. These photos will one day serve as the main source of memories and evidence of our time together. It’s made me realise I really should be taking more photos of us. Even if I don’t like them much, they might be important to someone one day.
So, I’m going to make an effort to include myself in more photos with Arlo. If I feel a need to hide them away for a few months, maybe when I look at them again, they won’t seem so bad. I might even like them.
