1. Potty training is not always something that is done and dusted within a week. It could take a month, three months, six months.
2. Don’t be disheartened by accidents, especially in the early days. Accidents aren’t setbacks, they are an important part of the learning process.
3. Get the Potette Plus. Just get it.
4. Don’t decide to delve into the world of cloth nappies with your baby at the same time as potty training your toddler or you will suddenly feel like your life is one big vicious circle of cleaning poo out of clothes.
5. You will confer with your partner about your child’s latest toiletting updates in front of your child-free friends. They will wonder if it’s really necessary to discuss it in such detail. They will find themselves having to clap and cheer an expectant toddler along with the rest of us if they are lucky enough to be around when a potty success occurs.
6. Every man and even his freaking dog will tell you that the magic secret to getting your toddler to like pants more than wearing a nappy is to take him to a shop choose his favourite pants. Even though this was the very first thing you did. Three months ago. You know your child. If you are uncertain that new pants and sticker rewards will cut it, they probably won’t.
7. It’s really easy to forget you have a potty training child. Like when you are in a nice pub and your toddler has just downed a pint of apple juice. Or when you take a toddler and newborn to the shopping centre, trying to find a dress to wear at a wedding. You know the saying ‘Always check for the nearest exit?’ Well, before that, always, ALWAYS, check for your nearest toilet.
8. Clothing choice is vital – The difference between buttons, poppers, and stretchy waistbands will become very clear, very quickly. Dungarees and playsuits are bloody cute. LOVE dungarees. But not on a potty training child.
9. Remember that a potty is for tipping out CRAP. Don’t be tempted by an all-singing-all dancing potty. You’ll want the smallest, lightest one available. Preferably with a spout for pouring out wee. WHY DON’T THEY MAKE ALL POTTYS WITH A SPOUT??
10. You will lose all sense of where and when is appropriate to pull out a potty in a public place. When your child needs to go, anywhere is appropriate…until you clock the shocked expression on the faces of onlookers. Oops.
This is potty training attempt two with Arlo, and it’s going well – we are out of the house. In pants. Using toilets…. I live in fear of a poo accident in public.