Sam’s style of shooting is click-before-you-think, quantity over quality. His method is to fire away at lightening speed and hope that there will be one shot out of one hundred that has come out OK. He doesn’t wait until the subject is posed and ready, he shows complete disregard for pressing the shutter half way down and waiting for the auto focus (I wonder whether I’d have more luck if I showed him back-button focusing?), he doesn’t stop to think about framing.
I mean, what the hell is going on with this photo? I asked him to take my latest pregnancy shot instead of using the tripod – what’s with the huge amount of negative space above my head, and the fact that the frame is cropped right at my bump?? My head should be way nearer the top of the frame.
(He did take some much better shots after I saw this one and explained how I had envisioned the framing, but those will be in the next pregnancy update post).
I’m not even going to show you the shots he took from a low angle. Despite how many times I have told him not to do it, he always gets on his knees and shoots upwards – NEVER a good idea, especially when photographing a pregnant lady. Unless you want your subject to look like a rotund skyscraper. Infuriating!!
I know it’s a silly thing to get frustrated about. Photography isn’t really in his bones, and even though he’s probably sighing on the inside every time I hand him the camera, he does try. Despite knowing he’s going to get heavily criticised as soon as I hit the preview button. But I do sometimes wish that my other half had a flair for photography so that I could have an amazing collection of family photographs that include myself.
I would love to have a birth photographer present for the arrival of baby number 2. Someone who has an eye for framing, who knows how to get the best out of their camera in varying lighting situations, someone who has no trouble with getting ‘the’ shot in focus. (I want all of these shots).
I don’t have photographs of the first moments of holding Arlo. I don’t have photographs of labour and the long build-up to his arrival. I didn’t realise it was something that I wanted, I thought it was something you didn’t want to remember, something graphic, unflattering, and perhaps a bit gory. But this time round I know I want to document it a bit more than I did the first time. Even if these photos aren’t shared with anyone, I still want the record for myself.
Sam saw me put the feelers out on Twitter by asking if any local family photographers might be interested in expanding their portfolio with a birth shoot, and I immediately got a ‘NO WAY‘ text message. I am still trying to convince him on the homebirth idea, and he said that the only way he would consider agreeing to a photographer would be if we were in the birth centre where there is more room. At home, we are talking about squeezing a birth pool, two midwives, myself, Sam and a photographer (and a baby!) into our 3 x 3.5 metre dining room. Sam is probably right to say that I am being completely unrealistic to even consider this idea.
My midwife is absolutely no help with this matter. On our first meeting, the first thing she said to me upon finding out that I am a family photographer was “Ooh, who’s shooting your birth then?” She has since added further fuel to the fire by chatting at length about how she would love to get in touch with more birth photographers and strike up a partnership of sorts, and that it’s a lovely accompaniment to a home birth. We are on the exact same page and it is the perfect idea.
But, we are having a baby here, and not a party. Birthing a healthy baby is the most important thing, the only thing that matters. And I haven’t quite managed to combine this fact with the birth photography idea in a way that doesn’t seem like I might be getting a bit carried away with my thoughts of what my ‘ideal’ birth might resemble.
Right now, I’m not sure what we are going to do about any aspect of this baby’s birth. But I will have more photos. Whether it means trusting Sam to get the all-important shots when he would prefer to be concentrating on the birth of his child, or maybe asking one of the midwives (is that allowed?), and accepting that I might not get all the ‘perfect’ shots that I have in my head.
Or whether it means trying to sneak in a photographer at the last minute in the hopes that Sam doesn’t notice.
Were photos important to you when you gave birth? Do you wish you had taken more or done things differently? Is your other half a natural photographer or do you wish they were better at taking photos?
20 comments
I absolutely love birth photography. I put feelers out for local ones too and couldn’t find anyone who was up for it. Plus the husband was well and truly against the idea. I just think there is something so stunningly raw and emotional about birth photography. I don’t think it’s coincidence that so much of it is black and white, it’s just kind of primal and natural and dramatic.
I was definitely more interested in photographing the process of labour this time but was basically left with the option of entrusting the hubby with the task. What I’d say is that if you really want some photos get a professional!!! My hubby didn’t even get the DSLR out of the bag and thought that some iPhone snaps would do the trick (THEY DON’T!!!!!!) The other thing is that so much of what is beautiful about birth photography is the interaction between both parents. I would have hated him to miss the important things like cutting the cord so that he could take a photo instead. And at the end when I went into the final stages of ‘birthing mode’ I needed him; he talked me through. Not only would I have missed the support if he’d been photographing properly, but the really beautiful images would have been of him and me focusing on each other and bringing that baby into the world.
I’ll have to settle for having those images etched in my memory I guess. But if you seriously want them (and totally get that desire!) then find someone to do them for you, I don’t think you’d regret it. Especially as your midwife is so supportive. You just need to get Sam on side…. Maybe some pregnant crying!?!?!?!? 😉 xx
I think Sam would actually get better shots with my iPhone that with the SLR (especially if there’s a bit of a dodgy light situation going on which makes it harder to get sharp images). I’d probably prefer ‘in focus’ iPhone shots and maybe a video than all the blurry missed opportunities that he’d get using my SLR. If I don’t go down the photographer route, the basic plan of action will be for Sam to use my phone.
But you are right, it would be lovely to have shots with him in the picture too. Not only that, but it feels unfair to ask him to be photographer when it means he has to share his focus between camera and the birth of his child. If he agrees to this homebirth I’m effectively asking him to take on lots of different roles: host, birth partner, cleaner, and photographer… It’s a big ask.
I’m totally with you!! My other half is the same so you end up with lots of shots you live but you just aren’t in them?!? I love the idea of birth photography and would want one too ,especially after seeing all those amazing images but my husband would be a firm no on that and I suppose I have to let him have the say as he likes that its just us our special moment meeting our baby got the first time with no other family. X
Yes, it being ‘just us’ is a big part of it. With Arlo, and again this time round, we feel very strongly that it should be just me, Sam, and the midwives. It’s a moment we’d rather share just between ourselves (although I do feel that a photographer is a bit different as they are impartial and will just be quietly snapping away in a corner and we probably won’t even notice it as an intrusion).
I would of loved some professional photos taken at the birth of both my girls… But like you My other half saw it as a complete no no!
Thanks to the quick nature of my both my labours there are no photos of ‘during’. The first photos Dean took of me and Fran when she was minutes old are nice but nothing snazzy, and the ones taken of me and Gee are terrible. I actually cried when I saw them (I had literally only given birth an hour before when I saw them so maybe the hormones were to blame?).
I think if we did it all again I’d ask one of my sisters to be present for the last bit of my labour as they’re both slightly more competent than Dean with a camera!
Fingers crossed you get some lovely shoots of this babies journey in to the works 🙂
Aw, I would feel the same with regards to disappointing birth photos. My problem is that I’ve seen so many lovely ones that the standard is now set pretty high in my head! At the very least I will insist that someone has a camera out for this baby’s very first moments in the world. They don’t HAVE to be pretty and perfect, I just want that moment captured.
I’d never even thought about birth photography before the event. It turns out that one of my most precious pictures from Thomas’s birthday is one that my husband stood up and took impulsively of him emerging in to the world. And given that I’d had a very much unwanted c-section, it was one that I couldn’t actually bring myself to even look at for weeks after the experience.
Now I love the idea of birth photography, but know that since my chance of vbac in my circumstances is pretty low, the chances of me being able to do it are also pretty low. I can’t imagine Ian, (or the theatre team, for that matter), being too delighted if I said “is it OK if I leave you outside and bring in a photographer instead?” Luckily for me Ian likes photography as much as I do, and whilst that doesn’t in any way ensure a good result, we do at least have a fighting chance.
Do you give your camera to Sam to use? Do you think it may be different if you gave him a point-and-shoot? Less intimidating than a DSLR, but potentially better than a camera phone. You never know, maybe a camera company would even be willing to give Sam a camera to test out the idea!
Yes he uses my SLR. I think you are right, he would do much better with a point and shoot (he’s actually quite good at taking iPhone photos, I think it’s just my big camera that he’s not used to). We don’t have a point and shoot, but I have just upgraded my iPhone and so have a half decent camera on that and the iPhone would probably be my choice for him to use on the day.
Yes yes and yes!! If it’s important, keep it up. I’m in the same boat – I have not ONE picture of myself in labor or at the birth center. I told my husband to take pictures but we were both distracted and he’s not a big picture-taker — your ‘up-shot’ comment made me laugh and nod! But seriously, I did mourn for those lost pictures, and am absolutely getting a birth photographer next time — or hell, at LEAST a doula who can take pictures! (Seriously!) And yes, you can ask midwives to take pictures (often the assisting midwife will have hands free/clean), but I wouldn’t totally count on it.
Ah, sounds like we are on exactly the same wavelength : ) I think the main problem with relying on the dad’s is that they are usually preoccupied with helping us and being involved in their child being born – not always fair to rely on them to take the photos too.
Typical men. We use our iPhones for photography… Surprisingly quite nice. My OH took some nice ones of us at the birth. X
I’ve just upgraded my iPhone so now have a half decent camera on that which Sam shouldn’t have any problem using – will definitely use that if nothing else!
What about Max??? If he’s willing and I’m sure he would be. x
Main issue is space, that’s why Sam isn’t keen on having anyone that doesn’t need to be there in the room. Think it’s still be a ‘no’ no matter who it was.
I regretted not having any pictures of Izz’s birth and was going to film Oliver’s, but we forgot the camera, or forgot to set it up (we forgot something, but I forget which ;)) and it’s a wee bit sad but not the end of the world. That said, having just flicked through the pics you linked to – wow. I can see why you’d want a decent photographer there.
I know I’m no help either, heh
No, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. It’s just a very nice ‘extra’. Setting up a video camera in the corner is a good idea, I’d definitely try that if we had a video camera (maybe I can mount my phone on a tripod?)
I absolutely love all those photos and would love to have a birth photographer present at this birth. The size of my house is a big concern though! I think it would definitely be a bit cramped, such amazing moments to capture though x
I reckon they would just ‘hang out’ quietly in the background though. I bet I wouldn’t even notice. Sam would though, and space is our main concern…. still mulling it over.
I did a lot of my best friends birth photos so her husband didn’t have to. As a nurse I usually offer to take over the pics once the baby and mom are safe and sound. I wonder if there are any doulas around your area who also do photography. That would give you extra support and great pictures
It’s more having an extra person in the room that is the issue, due to space in our house – I could see Sam agreeing to a photographer if we were going to be doing this somewhere with more space, but at home it’s going to be very crowded as it is.