After months of moaning about Arlo’s sleep, knowing that the root of the problem lay in his inability to fall asleep in his cot without relying on movement or feeding to send him off, but struggling to decide whether I was OK with letting him cry, I finally bit the controlled crying bullet.
I didn’t even plan to start when we did. Out of sheer exhaustion on my part, I tried it for one naptime and to my complete surprise, he fell asleep a lot quicker than I had anticipated. So, we kept rolling with it.
I know there is a big stigma attached to ‘sleep training’, and I am still wrestling with my own concerns about letting him cry on a regular basis, so I’m a little bit nervous about writing this here on my blog. I have no opinion on whether ‘sleep training’ is absolutely right or wrong and it is not my intention to explore that subject in these posts.
Arlo had started to refuse ALL methods of getting to sleep, and I am simply not fit enough to run around the room with a 22lbs overtired wriggling baby for more than half an hour. Which is what was happening more often than not. We were in need of a new, workable method of getting Arlo to sleep.
Arlo had also gone from a reliable 1-2 wake ups per night, to 3-4 wake ups and a very early morning start to the day. We waited and waited but he was showing no signs of going back to his previous, more favourable routine.
By the end of our two weeks in France, I found myself feeling more tired than ever, and completely at the end of my rope. I could feel that I was heading towards not being in a good place, and for the first time since he was a newborn, feeling that I really needed sleep.
Admittedly, I also let the peer pressure get to me. I listened to all the comments and I felt like I deserved for Arlo to be a better sleeper by now and for me to be getting a decent night’s sleep.
I can’t believe you are still up with him during the night, you must be knackered! You really have had bad luck with his sleep. Does he still not fall asleep on his own?? Is he still a bad sleeper? You know you need four hours solid sleep for your brain to function at full capacity?
I put my needs ahead of Arlo’s. It’s the first time I’ve ever done that, and it felt awful. It still feels awful.
But we have seen improvements. I’m going to blog it all in a series of posts because it would be far too big for one entry. Stay tuned.
5 comments
Gosh, don’t feel guilty! Arlo needs a happy and rested Mummy and Daddy. Remember, there are three of you in your family. You’re not doing him any damage as I’m sure you’ve found the period of him being unsettled is getting shorter and shorter. What I do remember reading is that the worse thing you can do when doing something like this is stop part-way through. Wasted heartache for you all. So stick with it!!! Arlo is bound to enjoy a Mummy with lots of energy to play and sleep breeds sleep so he’ll be even happier between sleep/naps. Good luck x
Thanks. The main drive for doing it is the hope that it will make us both happier in the long run and not just me. Bit sad to not be feeding him to sleep any more, but it hadn’t been working for a long time.
Ahhh it is so hard, I have recently sleep trained my little girl, she was 7 months, I couldn’t have done it before then but I am so glad I did it. She was the worst sleeper ever but now goes to sleep on her own, in her cot, in her own room whereas before she was in my bed pretty much awake all night. It’a a vital skill that they have to learn, I would never do it any younger than 6 months but it has changed my life and was well worth it. Good luck 🙂 xx
It’s amazing how much more alert I am feeling after getting a couple of full nights sleep, just in time to put my brain to use for job applications and interviews. Arlo seems happier now too, although this move was definitely more for my benefit than his at the beginning.