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A friend recently asked “But I though Rory was sleeping through the night occasionally?”, and I realised it had been a really long time since I’d written a Rory update.

Oh, how I wish we were still in the days where I’d put him down at 7pm. confident that he wouldn’t wake until at least 1am, and sometimes being surprised that he slept all the way through to 6am.

Nope. We got hit by the start of teething, consecutive colds and bugs, and the infamous sleep regression (that Arlo never recovered from) all at around the four month mark.

Rory will be six months old in a couple of weeks, and his sleep hasn’t recovered. I’m past the point of expecting it to. Waking every couple of hours and spending my evenings running up and down the stairs to him is the new normal.

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I had a feeling that he would regress. And having no motivation to ‘fix’ his ‘sleep issues’, I also knew that were it to happen, it would likely be a permanent change, as I will always feed him if he cries, I will always allow him to fall asleep whilst feeding …and what baby wouldn’t prefer to fall asleep this way?

Similarly to Arlo at this age, Rory is just not napping. He sleeps for 20 minutes maximum. I don’t think there is any particular reason for the short naps, they seem to happen regardless of any particular situation that day. But with the preschool run breaking up the day and a noisy toddler in the house, I might as well forget about trying to forge a good nap routine at the moment. Like Arlo, I’m sure his naps will lengthen as he gets older.

One thing I’ve noticed recently, is just how many people ( individuals and organisations involved in baby sleep) offer their advice when I say he’s not sleeping well. It’s not that I don’t believe in sleep training, or that I’m resolutely against it … it’s just…  I’ve read all the books, I did all of that first time round with Arlo, and I’ve learnt that I am much happier and less stressed out if I just allow myself to go with the flow, deal with the particularly bad nights, and accept the whole thing as one big long phase. Focusing on what Rory should be doing, and what I could be doing to improve things, only serves to make me miserable.

Anyway, back on topic.. Rory: You continue to be a chilled out, cheerful baby. You reserve your best smiles for your family, whilst people you don’t recognise receive a shy smile – this is really different to Arlo, who was very free giving with the smiles.

But no one in the world can make you smile and giggle as much as your brother.  When you turned four months you started thinking Arlo was the best thing ever.

As Sam put it, when we discussed having another child we thought about how good it would be for Arlo. You were a stranger to us at that point, only a part of our imaginations. It didn’t enter our heads how nice it might be for the younger sibling too.

Arlo continues to delight you, and it delights us.

roryinsta4&5months

7 comments

  1. He always looks so happy 😀

    FWIW, Izz was like Arlo in that she hit the 4mo sleep regression and didn’t ever recover (well, not until 18mo). Oliver hit the 4mo regression and did what Rory is doing now – short naps, bugger all overnight sleep etc but at ~6 mo it did start to gradually improve vaguely. I have probably said this before but I honestly think that if Olly had not had the issues with dairy that he would have really got the hang of the sleep thing early on, as he was a much more settled baby overall until the CMPI symptoms kicked up a notch (i.e. when he started weaning). Now I’m just hanging on for the teething to stop..!

    I hope Rory settles down soon for all your sakes 🙂 it’s no fun having to deal with 2, working and all that crap on no sleep. I know what you mean about it being easier when you just go with the flow – although how much of that is not having the energy to try and change things? haha

    1. A lot of it is definitely not having the energy to go through the cycle of getting my hopes up that we might have found ‘the key’ and disappointment when it all goes to pot again.

  2. I love the patch work quilt it’s lovely, he’s adorable! I totally sympathise with over the sleep issue. My son is almost 5 months and we were hit with the sleep regression at 4 months, teething started just before that. He slept for a while from 7pm – 1.30am and but that didn’t last long, he has never slept through the night yet either. Last week it reached almost breaking point, we were in and out every half an hour one night because he would cry out for his dummy but then drop it. I was at my wits end but like you the best thing we could do was just go with it and take each night as it comes and finally in the last few nights things have settled down. He’s going to sleep without his dummy, waking for one feed and going straight back to sleep. He still wakes at 5am (he’s done this since birth) but we just take him in with us at that time and he’ll sleep on until about half 7. Nap times are a day by day thing, some good and some bad days. I’ve read all the books too but I think they just stressed me out even more in the end! I hope things settle down a bit for you soon 🙂

    1. Thank you – a family friend made quilts for both the boys when they were born and it’s one of the loveliest presents they have.

      The 4 month sleep depression is THE WORST! Good news that your boy is starting to sleep better : )

  3. Kitty was another one who hit four months and it all went to pot! She’s a better sleeper now at 3 years old but still wakes most nights to climb in with us. We decided long ago that any sort of sleep training was not for us, and we just know that she will grow out of it someday! The no naps is tough though, it’s exhausting to have no down time so take care of yourself.

  4. Hi Chloe, my little boy is nearly six months and is just the same! I too spend all night legging it upstairs, normally just as I’m about to eat dinner!
    I totally agree that trying to “fix” things is a recipe for stress all round. I am only just coming round to the realisation that the best thing to do is what works for you and your baby, and ignore all the advice, forums, books etc, that seem he’ll bent on making you worry! I feel better when I remind myself its not a problem I have to solve, its just how he is and how he sleeps at the moment. Hopefully these babies will all settle at their own pace!

  5. Gorgeous photos! I totally get the sleep advice bit. We combi co-sleep and so many people attempt to offer solutions to rid our little man from our bed. But I am happy just going with whatever right now. Any sleep is a bonus 🙂

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