I have seen 12am and 2am (and many hours in between) more than I’d like to this week. I’ve not had an evening to myself as Arlo has been very wakeful. On top of that, 4.30am appears to be the new wake up time. I’ve not slept properly since getting ill almost two weeks ago. I need proper sleep, which I know is never going to happen.
What with the building repairs to the house and sickness, Sam and I have not had a proper weekend since the end of October. We weren’t even staying in the same house for half of that time.
I’m lonely. Lonely being on my own this weekend, but the loneliness is mostly a culmination of being confined to the house due to illness. A lack of proper interaction with people has left me feeling a bit withdrawn.
For these reasons, plus the fact I am an awful wimp when it comes to being in the house on my own, I was dreading Sam going away this weekend. He’s off having fun, which makes it worse. But I’ve not told him how miserable I’ve been. He deserves a nice break without guilt just as much as I do.
Arlo has been hard work. I can’t handle him at night as well as his dad can. I just feed him, and if that doesn’t work, I’m stuck.
All in all, I’d love to retreat under a duvet for a few days.
However, a few good things have happened.
I was gutted to think I’d missed the best time of year for taking photos whilst being ill. Autumn light and leaves are just wonderful. I dragged Arlo and myself out on one occasion, but I’m pleased to say that this weekend has been lovely and bright and perfectly autumnal, and I had a chance to take some shots.
Secondly (sorry to be cryptic with this one), someone has gone out of their way and done something really lovely for me. They might not have realised what they’ve done, but it’s been making me smile through a tough week. It’s been a well needed boost.
The truth is, I should be thankful that I have Arlo preventing me from hiding away under my duvet. I can’t see the good things from there.