If you’re like an increasingly large number of people, then you might have found love online.
A couple of decades ago, this concept was still pretty wild but from Tinder meet-ups with local singles to finding people who share your passions halfway across the globe, more and more relationships are starting online. That’s not to say that long-distance relationships don’t have their share of challenges. To make sure that yours isn’t stuck with the gap as a seemingly permanent feature, here are ways to start looking at helping to bring your lover to you.
Talk about it and plan it
If you’re not verbalising your plans to bring the relationship closer together, don’t be surprised if it doesn’t happen. A lot of people are happy to have attention and companionship without any concrete plans to close the gap and if you don’t talk about making the move, it’s not going to happen. It’s important to address where you might like to move, who should make the move, and more.
Make sure you meet up first
The first face-to-face meeting should not be when someone moves to live with or closer to the other person. Make sure you have had a few opportunities to spend time together, be it for a few days, a week, or more sporadically, to make sure that the chemistry necessary to sustain a relationship is truly there.
Help them with the legal process
If you do make the decision that your partner is making the move to live with or near you, then you should help them meet any criteria they need to make that move. This might mean getting a visa, finding employment, and planning for long-term solutions like ILR (indefinite leave to remain.) Talking to an immigration attorney can help you answer any questions you both might have about the process.
Help them make the move
Looking at the legal process for helping them move abroad if that’s the decision you’re going with, is just one part of the equation. Moving home can be a big, challenging process even when the move is down the block. As such, helping them facilitate things like storage or moving services on your side is crucial. You have to be willing to pull the weight for them on your end.
Work with them through the adjustment period
Even with meetups and regular online dates, switching from a long-distance relationship to a closer one is a big change. You might find one of you finding it hard having their own time imposed on more, while the other might want to close that gap quickly and cement a new normal in the relationship. It’s important to nurture the relationship and move towards getting more comfortable with spending your every day together, but also to make that a gradual process so the lifestyle shift isn’t so hard to acclimate to.
A big gap might seem hard to close, but more and more people are doing it every day. Just make sure you’re actually talking about it and working towards it, rather than letting the relationship stagnate.
Disclosure: This is a partnered post